The inexplicable comfort in the company of kindred souls
Knitting, identity & connection, CraftDoodling Designs News, other updates etc.
A few years ago, I was invited to a potluck and tea with a group of moms. My oldest, then a middle schooler, had made a few new friends whose families already knew one another well. Although I was new to the group, I had a lovely time chatting with everyone and enjoying lunch together. As we settled in for tea, I, ever a creature of habit, pulled out my knitting from my bag. Someone noticed, and suddenly I was bombarded with questions.
“Oh my god, how can you knit while talking?”
“So, we’ve managed to bore you that much?”
“Are we annoying you?”
I was somewhat taken aback and didn’t bring out my project for the rest of my time there. What struck me though was that many of them were on their phones half the time, and a TV was running on mute for good measure!
I’ve written earlier about occupying space as a knitter on my blog, but this is something that keeps coming up again and again. As a knitter, it’s always a dilemma—whether to bring out my knitting for my own comfort or to keep it tucked away lest it make others uncomfortable.
How do you have conversations with people who don’t see creating or making the same way you do?
How do you explain that a ‘mere craft’ is so entwined with your life that it’s inseparable from your being?
How would you make them understand that knitting is something you do to feel productive as well as to seek relaxation at the same time?
How do you explain that your tools feel like physical extensions of yourself?
Knitting is many things to me but above all, it has shaped my identity and rendered it wholesome. How do you describe the pride, confidence and that sense of standing a bit taller, when you wear that shawl you knit yourself?
I am very lucky that my family is understanding and supportive, even though none of them are knitters themselves.
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The other side of being a knitter is the almost instant yet deep connection you form with kindred spirits. Conquering the fear of fingering weight yarn, knitting your first sweater, finishing your seventeenth pair of socks, or that bizarre shift in tension you experienced when you first tried colorwork—anything can be shared. There is inexplicable comfort in the company of those who just ‘get it’. It becomes easy to open up, or to simply sit together in companionable silence, knitting.
Anyway, going back to the story I started telling earlier: our family moved in the years since, and then, after about two years, I ran into one of the moms again during soccer practice. This time it was my younger one playing.
We were chatting when she noticed the sock in my hand and said, “You’re still knitting!”
Well, I am. :) And for the foreseeable future, I will be.
What was the last knitting story you shared with a friend—or one they shared with you? I’d love to hear in the comments. ♥️
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CRAFTDOODLING DESIGNS UPDATES
Chalana Socks testing is underway. Many thanks to everyone who signed up. If anyone is still interested, I can take testers for sizes 3 & 4 (68 & 72 st socks) Thank you!
Please follow the Ravelry link for more details about the project, how to apply etc. Thank you for your consideration.
My next design Shuffle Scarf is getting ready for testing. This is a one-skein fingering weight project. I have made more progress than what this picture shows. :)
Please check out my class schedule on Fillory Yarn website for the months of May and June.
FEATURED PATTERN
Synclines Shawl is one of my long and shallow shawls that is easy to style. This one is proving to be an all season favorite in my Ravelry Store.
Here are some ways to style this shawl. I had shared this reel a while ago.
OTHER THINGS YOU MIGHT LIKE
Julianna who is a friend and knitting colleague, (@juliannamknits on instagram) hosts a thoughtful & fun, yearly Make-Along for Summer Tees.
Please check out her post here for participation rules. There will be a discord channel setup for chat and progress sharing.
READING UPDATES
Finished Reading 📖
Contagious - Jonah Berger
Holly - Stephen King
Currently Reading 📖
The Grey Wolf - Louise Penny
Until next time,
Kavitha. ♡
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Thank you for sharing about comments regarding knitting around others. I’ve come to realize that people often don’t know how to start a conversation, so something that draws attention gives them an easy place to start. Often first comments can be awkward. I find it helpful to turn it back to the other person with a question or two — oh, do you knit too? Do you do a different kind of art? What do you do to relax your mind— gardening for example? The other thing I do is have a project that moves along easily without a lot of concentration and will say something like, this is a simple project; I like to keep my hands busy. Then I ask them a question. It doesn’t always work though - your doing something productive reminds them that they are not being productive. As odd as it sounds to us, this could feel confrontational to someone who is feeling guilty for just chatting with friends. 😧
Thank you for sharing! I enjoy your posts!
I completely understand your discomfort pulling out your knitting in a group of non-knitters. Just remember, you don't need to justify or explain yourself, but it is polite to answer questions.
How can you talk while you're knitting? The two activities occupy different parts of your brain, and your hands know what they are doing.
You're not bored—knitting helps focus your attention, like doodling during a meeting.
You're not annoyed—if you were annoyed, you'd make some excuse and leave. Knitting is just what you do.
We normalize knitting in public by knitting in public, without fuss or fanfare. Think of it as an educational activity, not something you need to apologize or make excuses for.